My random ass thoughts for tonight.

I want to run away.  Far, far away.  I could pack my bags, get in my car and drive for miles and miles. 


I live in the house of crazy.  God is testing me because he KNOWS I have no patience with crazy.  And where do I live?  In the freakin' house of CRAZY.  Crazy husband, crazy kid and two crazy dogs.  Thank you, God.  Really.


My head won't stop pounding.  Please stop pounding head.


I hate cigarettes.


I love books.


I love the ocean.  The smell, the sound, the feel.  The ocean brings me a sense peace.  I am in a desperate need of peace.  Peace and Quiet.  Mind your P's and Q's.  


I miss Scamp.


I miss my Mom.  Immensely.  Terribly.  Sadly.  Lonely.  I love you, Jo.


I miss my friends.  I have cut myself off from everyone since February.  I no longer know who or what I am.  Or who or what I want to become.  I want this chapter of my life to be over sooner rather than later so that I can get on with the rest of my life.  This place is not a good place to be.  It's lonely.  


I wish my damn period would start already and maybe I wouldn't be so fucking miserable.  Ha.  


I wish I could have a conversation with my Dad and ask him those hundreds of questions I never thought to ask him when I had the chance.  I wish my Dad had the ability to communicate.  I think we would have some amazing conversations were he able to converse.


Man...this post has a lot of I's in it....I I I I I I I...get the fuck over myself already.  Christ.